An excerpt from pg. 7 of “The Confident Athlete”
This phrase is my motto in my own life. I have learned that “nothing is good or bad until we decide it is.” The power is in learning to focus on what is good in a situation. This is best illustrated in one of my favorite stories:
A story is told of an African king who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!” Because of this, the king took his friend with him wherever he went.
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. As they went along the friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!” to which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and angrily sent his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was with his hunting party when they were captured by a band of cannibals. The cannibals began to kill and eat the hunting party one by one. However, when the cannibals got to the king they realized he was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was missing a body part and so, untying the king, they sent him on his way.
The king rushed to the jail where his friend was imprisoned and exclaimed, “You saved my life! Thank you, thank you”. To which his friend replied, “This is good!”.
“Yes, this is good for me, but I am sorry for sending you to jail” the king responded. “No,” his friend replied, “This is good!”
“What do you mean?” asked the king. “How is it good that I sent you to jail for a year?”
“If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you and been eaten by the cannibals.” (Author unknown)
***
Although a bit dramatic, this story illustrates the point that regardless of what happens in life, we have the opportunity to choose our perspective. How we think about a situation internally, our “self-talk”, is the starting point for all future action. Working towards a positive outcome in a negative situation begins with positively shaping our self-talk. During moments of adversity, learn to find the positive.
EXERCISE: Make a list of things that could go wrong and then list what is good in each situation. Some examples include: being injured, not starting, not playing the position you want, losing, bad calls, etc. Now be proactive and list ways that when/if these situations occur how you would overcome them. For example, you currently aren’t playing the position you prefer. Your “this is good” response might be “this is good because it will make me a more versatile player who can contribute to the team in a variety of ways”.
For additional stories and confidence building advice, check out “The Confident Athlete: 4 Easy Steps to Build and Maintain Confidence” online at Amazon or Barnes and Noble: https://r2lc.com/the-confident-athlete-4-easy-steps-to-build-and-maintain-confidence/.
For daily confidence tips, follow on twitter @tamimatheny and sign up for the monthly confidence calendar: https://r2lc.com/monthly-confidence-calendar-newsletter/
Tami is a Mental Game Coach and Author. She owns and runs, Refuse2LoseCoaching. Follow her on twitter @r2lcoaching and Instagram @refuse2losecoaching
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