In my last Confidence Calendar email, I shared a short talk I gave called “Stop Telling Athletes to Be Confident.” In it, I shared four skills athletes can use to help build their confidence. But I’ve been thinking about something since then. Giving athletes the tools is only the first step. We have to help them practice them.
We would never show an athlete how to serve a volleyball, shoot a basketball, strike a soccer ball, or swing a golf club once and then expect them to perform that skill consistently under pressure. They practice it. And practice it. Until it becomes something they can rely on when they need it.
Why would we expect the mental game to be any different? We can teach athletes how to change their self-talk, reset after a mistake, visualize success, or focus on what they can control. But are they practicing those skills?
And mental training doesn’t have to mean adding another 30 minutes to an already busy athlete’s day. A few intentional mental reps every day can be more powerful than waiting until confidence is struggling and trying to fix it all at once. It might be catching one negative thought and replacing it. Taking 30 seconds to visualize yourself performing confidently. Practicing your reset after a mistake—even in practice. Or identifying what you can control before competition.
Those small reps add up. Because confidence isn’t built from hearing “You’ve got this!” right before a game. Confidence comes from what you do, say, and think on a consistent basis.
So here’s something simple you can do this week. Instead of asking an athlete: “Do you feel confident?” Try asking: “What did you do today to train your confidence?”
That question changes confidence from something they either have or don’t have into something they can actually DO something about. And that’s the message I wish I had understood much earlier as an athlete myself.
Confidence isn’t who you are. It’s what you practice.
Tami