Written by: Lindsey Hall
I hope you all took something away from the last blog post about Tami’s book “THIS IS GOOD”. This week I took Tami’s concept about being emotionally committed and elaborated on it for you all. Enjoy!
“Confidence and unity break down when we aren’t 100% emotionally committed. Being emotionally committed is the foundation to success and overcoming adversity. Any legendary performance or relationship is the result of emotionally committed people.”-Tami Matheny
I don’t know about you but being emotionally committed to anything
- Makes me feel uncomfortable
- Like I am giving up control
Like a lot of you, I thought emotional commitment only pertained to relationships. I didn’t realize that in everything you do, whether it’s a goal you are trying to reach, a job, or a project you are working on, there has to be some level of emotional commitment to that thing. Most of the time we don’t even realize that we have a wall up and that we are not fully committed to what we are doing. In Tamis book “THIS IS GOOD” she lists and explains the 3 levels of commitment:
1.Verbal Commitment: (You verbally say out loud “I am going to start working out” -roughly 99% of us are verbally committed, the verbal commitment part is easy)
2.Physical Commitment: (Only about half of us are physically committed. This is when your actions match your words you verbally said you were going to start working out and now at this stage you are actually working out. You are putting in the work to reach your goals)
3.Emotional Commitment: (This part is uncomfortable for most of us, this means pure devotion to a person, team, or group and its success. This means you give everything you possibly have knowing you could fail or come up short. You know the real success is when you can look at yourself in the mirror and know you consistently gave absolutely everything you had mentally and physically. This means truly caring about your work, team or goal.)
I was always stuck in the verbal commitment part and if I was lucky enough, I would sometimes make it to the physical part. But the problem was the physical part wouldn’t last. And if the physical part didn’t last then I surely would never make it to the emotional commitment part. The reason why I could barely get to the physical part and if I did, I would never stick with it, was because of my emotions. You see I had a results-based mindset. IF things were going in my favor (if my team was winning, the weight was coming off, or I got recognition for what I did) then I was happy and I was committed to excellence. But the second things got tough or didn’t go my way I would just throw my hands up and walk away. I would walk away because I was afraid if I kept going, I would risk failure and disappointment and of course was afraid to be wasting my time. The problem was, I didn’t want to be where I was but I was too afraid to keep going, I wanted to avoid all of the challenges and pain that my goal could potentially bring. I had to come to this point where:
- I had to change how I saw myself, I had to view myself as the type of person who doesn’t just say they are going to do something, but who actually does it.
- I had to HATE where I was in order to change where I was going. And in order to make that change, I had to decide that I was emotionally committed. That no matter what happened along the way I would keep going. It wouldn’t matter if it didn’t seem like things were working or if challenge after challenge would come my way. I wouldn’t rest until I knew I gave it my all. My mom always says “failure is someone who never tries” although I know she didn’t make that quote up, her constant reminder of it is what has allowed me to become emotionally invested in relationships, goals, jobs, etc. I would rather give it my all and try than sit there and wonder “what if?”
Remember, you are the only one who can decide if you are going to be emotionally committed. Although I wish reading this article was enough to make you, I know it’s not. It is now your responsibility to have COURAGE and to take that leap of faith. It is up to you to decide you are tired of not getting the things you want done and time to lay all of your chips down on the table and go all in. It’s scary and confusing, and uncomfortable, but keep going and giving it your all and remember, “it’s always the day after we give up that everything, we were working for was right there”- Lindsey Hall. Be emotionally committed.
“When people get tired of stuff, they either check out or they find a way to be different. Change happens, when the pain of where you are is greater than the pain it will be to change.” -Tony Robbins
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R2LC is owner by Tami Matheny. She is a Mental Game Coach and Author. Her books include: “This is Good” at: https://r2lc.com/this-is-good-a-journey-on-overcoming-confidence. “The Confident Athlete: 4 Easy Steps to Build and Maintain Confidence” https://r2lc.com/the-confident-athlete-4-easy-steps-to-build-and-maintain-confidence/ and “The Confidence Journal”. All books can be purchased online at Amazon. For group discounts or signed copies contact http://tami@r2l.mysites.io.
Tami owns and runs, Refuse2LoseCoaching which provides mental coaching for athletes and teams at all levels. For more information on mental training contact tami@r2l.mysites.io, follow us on twitter @tamimatheny and @r2lcoaching and visit our website: https://r2lc.com.
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