Excerpt from “The Confident Athlete: 4 Easy Steps to Build and Maintain Confidence” written by Tami Matheny, Owner and Director of Refuse2LoseCoaching, LLC.
Common Confidence Mistakes:
1. Confidence is something you are either born with or without.
Many think, if someone has confidence, they were born with it. However, confidence is an acquired skill just like throwing a ball, shooting a ball, swinging a club, etc. are acquired skills. Confidence is more like a job, than a gift you are born with. Most athletes simply do not think of confidence building as something they can work productively towards. Once you accept that it is, the rest becomes easier. Realizing that you can improve confidence through practice and repetition, just as you would other skills, gives you the power to do something about it.
2. If you are already confident, you don’t need to work at it.
A big mistake athletes often make is thinking that they don’t need to work on their confidence if they are already at a high level. Yet, you don’t stop working out in the weight room just because you are strong; you continue to build more muscle. The same is true with confidence. Even if you have a steady supply of it, the strategies outlined in this book can help you further develop your confidence.
3. Waiting to do something about your confidence after you lose it.
Another common mistake athletes make is waiting to act after their confidence is lost. You don’t wait to develop a technical problem before you work on technique. Confidence works the same way. Prevention and continued work are key in developing a consistently high level of confidence.
4. Having a wait and see approach to confidence.
Don’t leave confidence to chance. I often ask athletes what comes first, confidence or an event/action that determines their confidence level. Too often, many have a wait and see approach. If they feel good in warmups, then they are confident. Or they wait and see how the first few minutes go before deciding if they are confident or not. Confidence precedes performance; it comes before an event. Consistent confidence requires us to be proactive, so that you are sure to start with a full tank of confidence rather than waiting to see how you feel
5. “My coach took away my confidence.”
Coach can stand for anyone: your parents, friends, significant others, opponents, etc. This is a frequent complaint I hear from athletes that are on the confidence roller-coaster. Eleanor Roosevelt hit it on the head when she said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If someone takes your confidence away from you, you are making the choice to allow them to do so. While it takes work to develop the habits and skills not to let this happen, no one can take away your confidence without your consent. Confidence is your responsibility.
6. Confidence is an emotion.
Too many times we think of confidence as an emotion, “I feel confident today” or “I don’t feel confident today”and we give into our emotional state. If we give our emotions the power to determine if we are confident or not, then we are held at the mercy of our emotions. Consistent confidence is an action; it’s about doing. Like Nike says, “Just do it”. Learn to take action instead of just going along with your emotions.
7. Confidence is easily affected by a bad performance.
Real confidence does not easily fluctuate after a bad play or bad performance. It should not be based on one event. Think of the years you have put into your sport. One bad day should not destroy all the time you have spent developing your craft. If you have a bad outing, the thought should be that it was a bad day, not that you are bad. When you learn to not let one bad performance rob you of your confidence, you start to get off the confidence roller-coaster more quickly.
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If any of the above apply to you, I am here to tell you that it is a choice you have made, even if unknowingly. Maybe until now, you didn’t realize it was a choice. However, through your thoughts and actions you alone determine your confidence. My goal is to teach you how to make confidence a daily decision, to start every day with a full tank of confidence just as you would start a trip with a full tank of gas.
When you work at confidence as any other skill, and are proactive and take responsibility for it, you will be more consistent in your performance and have a steady supply of confidence regardless of the circumstance.
Start working on the 4 steps presented in this book daily and you will learn how to build and maintain a steady supply of confidence. Let’s get to doing, and start releasing the emergency brakes.
“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”
—Joe Namath
To read more about “The Confident Athlete: 4 Easy Steps to Build and Maintain Confidence” visit: http:// https://r2lc.com/the-confident-athlete-4-easy-steps-to-build-and-maintain-confidence/.
“The Confident Athlete” can be purchased online at Amazon or Barnes and Noble. For group discounts contact tami@r2l.mysites.io
For daily confidence tips, follow on twitter @tamimatheny and sign up for the monthly confidence calendar: https://r2lc.com/monthly-confidence-calendar-newsletter/
Tami Matheny is a Mental Game Coach and Author. She owns and runs, Refuse2LoseCoaching. Follow her on twitter @r2lcoaching and Instagram @refuse2losecoaching.